


tell me anything

by birlcholtz (justwhatialwayswanted)



Series: Jack is Out at Samwell AU [3]
Category: Check Please! (Webcomic)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Coming Out, Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-04-07
Updated: 2020-04-07
Packaged: 2021-03-01 16:35:20
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,625
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23520172
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/justwhatialwayswanted/pseuds/birlcholtz
Summary: Bitty has been with the Samwell Men's Hockey Team for almost a full semester. He hadn't planned to stay in the closet, but it's almost Winter Screw time, and he just kind of... forgot to say anything?Ransom and Holster's interrogation about Screw dates leads Bitty to come out to an unexpected person. Namely, his captain, Jack.
Relationships: Eric "Bitty" Bittle & Jack Zimmermann
Series: Jack is Out at Samwell AU [3]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1674502
Comments: 13
Kudos: 157





	tell me anything

It takes Bitty a long time to decide what to do.

Because he's pretty sure Jack still kind of hates him. After checking practice started, Jack's stopped yelling at him on the ice as much, but he still chirps him just a little harshly about his eating habits and he didn't want to be on the same line as Bitty, that much was  _ obvious, _ so... Jack being a good captain and helping him with hockey stuff doesn't mean he cares or wants to know about Bitty's life. He'd thought about talking to Shitty instead, but Shitty is Jack's best friend. Sure, he's one of the friendliest people on the team, but he's just so loud and in people's faces all the time and Bitty's not sure he could handle that.

And Ransom and Holster, well. They like Bitty. Their chirps about Bitty fainting on ice are actually  _ funny, _ unlike Jack's. They've helped him figure out where his classes are and they kept him from walking into wet cement that one time and they're the biggest pie enthusiasts he has ever met and Ransom has called Bitty the love of his life at  _ least _ three times and...

Bitty doesn't really... want to tell them. They're jocks and they're huge and intimidating and crash into people on the ice and throw huge parties and wheel girls and they  _ like Bitty _ and he doesn't want to do anything to fuck that up. Sure, they seem to like Jack too— Holster's petty comments about board games aside— but Jack is masculine and almost as big as them and a phenomenal hockey player and their captain and he dates women too. Bitty has heard legends about his off-again-on-again relationship with Camilla Collins. (Mostly from Shitty. And Holster.) Jack and Bitty are not the same.

He's been thinking about it, turning the options over and over in his head like somehow that'll reveal a new one, and he even thought about telling Johnson, weird as he is, but every time he feels like he has the courage to say something Johnson is nowhere to be found. Once Bitty tried to text him and the text wouldn't deliver. 

So, not Johnson. Not Ransom. Not Holster. Not Shitty. And he doesn't want to tell Jack.

But Jack, who's done interviews about being bi in hockey— Jack, who  _ dated Kent Parson, _ the first (and only) out gay man in the NHL— Jack, his captain who only just stopped hating his guts— might be the only person he can tell.

And Winter Screw is what's messing everything up, anyway. If Ransom and Holster hadn't started talking about setting Bitty up with someone, Bitty could have maybe ignored it. Just a little longer. But he can't. So he needs to tell someone. He just doesn't know who.

"Come on, Bits, what's your type?" Ransom says as Bitty is reaching this conclusion.

"Haha," Bitty says in an effort to stall for time, and it comes out sounding more like a goat bleating than anything else, but he  _ really _ is trying to avoid telling Ransom or Holster about any of this and, oh, he has to say something else. To get  _ out of here. _ "Um. Oh, dear! Wouldn't you know it—" he scrambles for an excuse— "I totally forgot that I left a pie baking."

Um. That's great,  _ thanks, me, _ but they  _ just _ left Founders after finding where Holster left his pencil case the night before. As in, a library. A place without kitchens.

Well. It'll have to do.

"In the library," Bitty says, because he might as well just dig himself deeper into this hole. "Well, no need to wait for me— y'all go on ahead to breakfast!"

None of them move. Ransom and Holster have identical expressions of confusion, Shitty's eyes are wide but his expression neutral, and Jack looks as stone-faced as ever.

So Bitty says, "Um. Bye now!" and he  _ bolts. _

But where can he go?

Nobody will be at the Haus to let him in— Johnson has a meeting with his advisor, he's mentioned it in the group chat about six times— so he can't go there. His dorm is in the complete wrong direction, and if he goes that way he'll probably run into them again. He needs to get breakfast  _ somehow _ , if he's planning on avoiding everyone until the topic of Screw has left Ransom and Holster's minds.

He's made it about three minutes in the direction of  _ away _ when his phone buzzes.

**shitty knight defeater of lax bros:** dude if u dnt want r n h finding u a screw date be not alarmed

**shitty knight defeater of lax bros:** i can tell them sm handwavey vague emphatic shit and make them back off no questions no judgment

**shitty knight defeater of lax bros:** jst say the word

**me:** Yes please

**shitty knight defeater of lax bros:** on it

And Bitty thinks,  _ yes. _ Shitty may be loud and in people's faces but he's outspoken and has never said 'no homo' to his non-straight best friend despite their extreme physical closeness. Sure, it'll be hard to figure out how to say it, hard to even ask Shitty to talk to him privately without anyone else knowing about it, but he'll figure something out. And Shitty's helping him right now, no questions asked.

He'll give it a few minutes before he turns around and goes to team breakfast, long enough for Shitty to convince Ransom and Holster to drop the subject, and there's a convenient bench with one end occupied by someone holding two coffees and the other end blissfully vacant, so Bitty helps himself to the vacant end and pulls his phone out to kill some time.

That's why, when someone says "Bittle" from within three feet of him, Bitty is startled out of his skin and almost falls off of the slippery, snow-wetted bench.

Almost.

Because at the last second Jack reaches out and grabs his arm and pulls him back onto the bench.

Because Jack is here.

Inexplicably.

"Sorry. Uh, I thought I should check in with you," Jack says, and Bitty barely recognizes this earnest young man as his hardass hockey captain. His hands dangle at his sides like he's not quite sure what to do with them. "You left pretty fast. If there's something bothering you about Winter Screw, you know you can tell me anything, right? Or anyone on the team. We've all got your back. You wouldn't be the first frog to freak out over it."

The person at the other end of the bench gets up and walks over to someone else, and they head off with their coffees, and Jack says, "Can I sit down?"

"Uh-huh," Bitty says, because he's still trying to wrap his brain around the fact that Jack actually came to find him. Maybe he was wrong about Jack not caring about Bitty beyond what he brings (or doesn't bring) to the ice.

Maybe he can say something.

"I had to call my therapist about Winter Screw my frog year," Jack says as he sits down. "There are a lot of expectations that come along with it. About who you go with, and what happens, and stuff like that. So I didn't go. The only reason I went last year was because I was already dating Camilla, so I didn't have to worry about being Screwed with someone I didn't know. The whole idea of having to go with whoever your roommate picks is scary, eh?"

"But you're going this year," Bitty finds himself pointing out. Ransom and Holster had  _ just _ been talking about how they'd successfully found him a date.

"Oh. Not like that. Kate and I have a lot of classes together. Her girlfriend can't go to parties because they're too loud so she always finds other people to go with. Ransom and Holster don't know she has a girlfriend, but they know I know her, so they suggested her and I asked her if she wants to go. Because you need a date to go to Winter Screw."

That's not what Bitty had expected. "Huh."

Jack shrugs. "Kate likes parties. And this way I can hang out with her and not worry about whether she wants anything from me."

This is a different side to Jack. Bitty knows, logically, that Jack must have a life outside of hockey. He must know people who aren't hockey players. He must think about things that aren't hockey. But this is the first time that Bitty's gotten  _ proof. _

"Have Ransom and Holster ever tried to set you up with guys?" he asks.

Jack takes a moment to process the shift in the conversation before saying, "A few times. But once I beat Holster in our Settlers of Catan tournament he told me I didn't deserve to know his gay friends. Because, in Holster's words, they're all delights and I am no such thing. Ransom finds it funny so he goes along with it."

Bitty dares to hope. Maybe telling Ransom and Holster won't ruin his friendship with them. "Does Holster... have a lot of gay friends?"

"Yes. I don't know where he finds them, he's not part of any affinity groups. I think most of them are on the swim team." Jack considers it. "Or maybe Holster's only tried to set me up with other athletes. That wouldn't surprise me."

"Um, what about Ransom?"

"Ransom's friends with everyone. I saw him talking to a lax bro once."

A vocal part of Bitty still wants him to believe that even if Ransom and Holster are friends with all these gay men, Bitty is  _ different. _ Somehow. But he tries to shut that part of himself down. Ransom and Holster have gay friends. Ransom and Holster have gay  _ male _ friends. And Ransom and Holster get along fine with Jack, who is on their team and they spend a lot of time with (including in locker rooms). 

Bitty  _ is _ probably different in some ways to all these gay men Ransom and Holster know, because he's pretty sure he can bet he makes better pies than any of them, but he is not different in a way that might make them hate him.

Well. Not because of his sexuality, anyway. Apparently, if Bitty gets really good at Settlers of Catan, Holster might put him on his shitlist.

"Is that why you left?" Jack asks, and Bitty might freeze up a little, because the next thing he says is, "I don't want to assume things. But people on the team would be fine with a gay teammate. Stevie idolizes Kent. Parson, I mean," he adds, although Bitty had easily filled in who he meant. "Johnson and Shitty talk about how heterosexuality is a social construct all the time. Patter's mom is trans. I've had a couple guys come out to me— they both graduated already, though, you wouldn't know them. Any gay guys on this team who want to come out will be welcome."

_ Now _ he sounds like Bitty's hardass captain. Jack presents this in the same way he presents commentary on Bitty's issues with physicality, dry fact with the type of confidence that comes from knowing beyond a shadow of a doubt that he is right.

"Okay," Bitty says. And then he makes a snap decision. "Um. Can I tell you something?"

"Yes," Jack says. "Anything."

"I'm, um. I'm gay." The words feel alien in his mouth, no matter how many times he's thought them to himself. "And I've never told anyone before." He lets out a little chuckle. "You probably already guessed that."

"I don't have a lot of faith in my gaydar," Jack says dryly, and before Bitty can process that Jack, zero-pop-culture-knowledge-hockey-robot Jack, just said 'gaydar', he continues, "I thought you might not be straight, but Shitty would yell at me for hours if I assumed anything. And I thought you should be able to decide who to tell. You don't have to tell me things just because I'm bisexual."

"I was trying to figure out who to tell," Bitty admits. "It's not like I  _ want _ to be closeted, that was the whole reason I came to Samwell instead of staying closer to my parents, but... I don't know. The semester went by so fast, and I didn't know what to say or how to say it or who to say it to, and then Ransom and Holster started talking my ear off about Screw dates and I wasn't sure if they... well. I didn't want them to think about me differently."

Jack is silent for a long moment, and then he says, "I can understand that. I think that's normal. They won't. I can't tell you not to worry about it, because it would be hypocritical of me. But I know Ransom and Holster, and I know everyone on this team, and none of them would see you differently."

"Okay."

"Do you want to tell Ransom and Holster to find you a guy, or do you want to just stay away from Winter Screw this year?"

"Oh! Um, I hadn't really thought about it." Because he'd assumed that Ransom and Holster wouldn't be willing or able to set Bitty up with a guy. "I guess... well, it  _ would _ be nice to meet people. But I'm not looking to go home with anyone."

"I'm sure they can figure something out. Or you can—" 

Wait a second. It's not  _ quite _ 'oot,' but Bitty can't help but ask— "Did you say 'out'?"

"Uh, yes? Out," Jack says, and Bitty hears it again. "Why?"

"It's  _ out _ ."

He blinks. "It's  _ out." _

"Out."

"Out."

"Out."

"Out. As in, out and about."

(Jack, Bitty has noticed, sounds more and more French-Canadian whenever he argues with Bitty about words. They had a conversation about 'pecan' once that Bitty is pretty sure was half in French by the end.)

" _ Out and about," _ Bitty says, and then he remembers he fully interrupted Jack to argue with him about words. "Um, sorry, what were you saying?"

"Oh. Just that you can always do what I'm doing and go with a lesbian as friends."

"I don't know any lesbians."

Jack shrugs. "I do."

_ What? _

"Are you trying to platonically set me up with your lesbian friends?" Bitty asks, just to make sure he's not hallucinating this. Yesterday, if someone had told him that Jack would have... said literally anything that he's said in this conversation, Bitty would have politely laughed in their face. This is not the Jack he knows.

But does that mean that this isn't Jack?

Bitty considers it. Maybe Jack has... well, a lot more personality than Bitty had thought, honestly. It would certainly explain why Shitty is so close with him. And how he managed to become captain as a sophomore despite not being what Bitty would refer to as a social butterfly.

"You said you don't know any lesbians, I'm problem solving," Jack says with a hint of a smile, and, yeah, this is officially bizarre. Bitty might be in the Twilight Zone. But this is also the friendliest Jack has ever been to him, so he's going to take it.

"Well, I might take you up on that, but I think I'm going to talk to Ransom and Holster first. Can't have them thinking you found me a Screw date before they did."

"No, that would hurt their pride," Jack agrees solemnly. "Do whatever you're comfortable with. I've got your back for whatever you decide."

At the moment, Bitty is just glad he decided to tell Jack. This has been the weirdest, yet somehow most reassuring conversation about sexuality and men's hockey that he has ever had— not that he's had very many of those. "Thanks, Jack."

"Anytime."

**Author's Note:**

> at the moment i'm not sure if i'll keep writing new works for this series or work on my pride and prejudice AU first-- it's entirely possible i'll alternate, who knows! but i have a lot more ideas for this AU so it's not over yet :) as always, feel free to comment w/ ideas or requests!
> 
> love, birl


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